The Jon knows these things to be true: Week 16

The Jon was going to start with some weak writing about the shortened H2H matchups this week … it was something like this:

With the All Star break over, fantasy managers faced the worst matchup week ever: The some odd four days of games after the Midsummer Classic. Four days does not a good H2H week make or something. A lot of teams got helped by the fewer games with double-digit wins while other mangers got the flip side.

Man, that’s weak. So instead, take a look at the best play of the actual All Star game of Ichiro gunning down Albert Pujols. First of all, the ball looked foul and then when it came up fair with the perfect hop, there was no way Pujols was going to test Ichiro … but then you saw Ichiro’s bullet and knew Pujols was going for second.

The result was never in doubt … although Pujols did look safe. But The Jon is rambling, let’s talk baseball, shortened week and all.

Newspaperman: The Karate Kid video history

It all started simple enough. Newspaperman in the deep throes of watching one of his many sweethearts have a good game, e-mailed The Jon. In this case it was Joey Votto’s three homer game Wednesday. This is a rough quote:
“Monster, baby. Monster. Three jacks in three at-bats, four RBIs, three runs, a walk and a stolen base. I have to change my panties!”

It was then The Jon finally pinpointed who Newspaperman reminded The Jon of.

Daniel LaRusso. Yes, you read that right, Daniel-San.

Road to the Title Part 2: A video history

The Jon remembers when it was a Dad weekend. For the 80 percent of us that have had to deal with divorce in the early ’80s, a Dad’s weekend was every other week when you go to a house where a man you hardly knew lived and didn’t have to do anything but watch TV and see topless women on HBO.
So here is The Jon and The Jon’s Dad is excited to show The Older Sister who actually knew The Jon’s Dad when he was married to The Mom and he and The Older Sister walk to the TV. Under it is this big rectangular plastic box. There was nothing on it except plastic buttons and a LED clock.

Now back in the early ’80s, LED was known as the word “digital.” Ooooh, that sounds futuristic.

So The Jon is looking at this scene where The Older Sister is flipping out and getting all excited and all The Jon can think (yes think, The Jon didn’t talk that much as a kid, maybe because of the whole divorced thing that The Jon’s Dad could have tried to explain instead of wasting his time buying a damn VCR. Yeah, thanks Dad) anyways, let’s repeat:

So The Jon is looking at this scene where The Older Sister is flipping out and getting all excited and all The Jon can think of is “Wow, what a cool digital clock.”