Fixing the WordPress glitch part 5

For this edition of trying to fix this site and restore the right-hand side widgets, Jay Z Lover makes an appearance. He is one of the only 20 or so friends The Jon has …. awwww …. and we started talking about Eric Young. Note, the Pharrell video is up there because The Jon can not … can not, put a Jay Z video on this site. Now The Jon know Jay Z has just started to write a beef rap against The Jon, but hey. Sadly this also brings in another Newspaperman quote from youtube. Notice the XXX’s:

i love him soo much he has STYLE/LOOKS and everythin else i love him sooo much xxx

Lets get down to business, OK? This whole thing started when ESPN “Baseball analyst” ie. stereotypical comic relief announced he would retire as a Rockies player or something.

F#$% eric young
and his buckwheat @$$

…………………………….
……………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………..

What the f***?
thats not cool.

…………………………….
……………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………..

F#$^ that B@#@%
and his shook and jive
act on ESPN.

…………………………….
……………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………..

I liked him
on the Rockies
you hater.

…………………………….
……………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………..

how is The Jon being
a hater to a F#$%& sellout?
You don’t know, dude.
You don’t know.

…………………………….
……………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………..

Fine whatever…
why you gotta
make me mad?

…………………………….
……………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………..

listen, it’s fine that you were cheering
him on in your diapers. That’s fine.
But, F$%@ that guy as a person and sending
minorities back 30 years with his jibber jabber.

…………………………….
……………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………..

OK I agree with you there
and I was not in diapers…
1993 i was 13.

…………………………….
……………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………..

OK, aquaman
underoos then.

…………………………….
……………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………..

I was in diapers at 13…
took me awhile to get
the whole bathroom thing.

…………………………….
……………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………..

You are not ready for underoos now.
But you can use The Jon’s
Robin Boy Wonder ones
when you are ready.

…………………………….
……………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………..

Robin
was
a
bitch.

…………………………….
……………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………..

We
finally
agree.

……………….

The Jon knows these things to be true: Week 14

So Newspaperman is down on playing fantasy football. The Jon searched far and wide to try to peak Newspaerman’s interest back in another fantasy sport The Jon has dominated. The best option was this video in a field of a lot of blond and er … silicone participants. Hey you can always count on a token minority girl on such Web creations as Fantasysportsgirl. Seeing how TheBaseballStars are all minorities, the quasi/unkown/asian, latina host suffices.

Unfortunately, there were no videos of Manny Ramirez or Grady Sizemore to share. We all know Newspaperman’s affliction with Grady (Newspaperman, this does not give you the right to walk around crying in your Superman Underoos), but apparently The Jon was all over Manny’s Planters peanuts or something a couple of months ago before the season started.

But The Jon digresses … let’s talk baseball fools.

The Jon knows these things to be true: Week 13

The Jon sure feels sorry for Chipper Jones, Yunel Escobar, Magglio Ordonez and Felix Hernandez owners. All went down this week with injuries.
The Jon can’t imagine how it would feel like to have all of those players on one team in an H2H league going against an arch-rival that you literally and wholeheartedly abhor … wait The Jon can.

After a 10-1 shellacking to FreeSanJose, the only solace The Jon can find is Ichiro’s 5-for-5 performance Sunday that allowed The Jon to grab one point … but that’s besides the point. Let’s talk baseball shall we?

The Jon knows these things to be true: Week 11

Look, Johan Santana was the man with the Twins. He put up one of the best seasons this side of the-turn-of-the-century Randy Johnson. In 2004 he was 20-6 with a 2.61 ERA to go along with 265 strikeouts. As the anchor of the Jon’s team, he led The Greatness to two titles and six seasons where The Jon didn’t finish any lower than third.

So it is with great sadness and an unabashed outlook on the future that The Jon brings this news: The Jon just traded Johan Santana.

The Jon knows these things to be true: Week 10

This doesn’t come easy. Newspaperman tried this week to emulate The Greatness known as The Jon, and his result was less than astronomical. He was writing something about Chase Utley, took some obscure lyric that didn’t even match and posted a Geto Boys video. Newspaperman. Son. Stick to David Wright and Grady Sizemore. Leave the videos to The Jon.

So why the Summertime video? Have you seen the baseball scores this week? Offense is running wild, dun. Temperature’s rising. It’s summer.

Summer brings crazy offensive numbers. Plus Will Smith is having a new movie coming out called Hancock …

You see that Newspaperman?

Will Smith, Hancock, Movie, Scarface, Al Pacino, white women dancing.

Those are tags son.

That drives up traffic to our site. When was the last time the Geto Boys have been in the news?

Let’s talk baseball, shall we?

The Jon knows these things to be true: Week 7

A lot of funny things happen when The Jon gets drunk. Most of the time The Jon yells out “the Jon needs sushi and Asahi.” Or “hey, let’s stay up all night and watch a Star Wars marathon.”
The Jon has never said, “The Jon is going to blog.”
But here The Jon is.

And for some reason, The Jon thinks this Gorillaz video is tight and … well, you try writing in the beginning throes of a headache. It’s baseball time …

The Jon knows these things to be true: Week 4

Injuries. That is what Week 4 is all about. Newspaperman and FreeSanJose actually tried to step to The Jon and point and scream about scoreboard? Injure The Jon?
Well, FreeSanJose didn’t, that’s because he can express it on a different level and doesn’t wear a polka dot dress like Newspaperman does. Fantasy baseball is devoid of perspective. It is all about how your team did the past week for the novice fantasy baseballer.

Take a look at FreeSanJose and Newspaperman. Novices they are not, but they love the scoreboard. When they have won championships, they have always been the top dog in the standings. They have not suffered or came into the playoffs as one of the lower seeds only to win it all … twice.

The Jon has. Perseverance, fools. And as for dogs, go ahead and kick The Jon while he is down. Let’s get going and move ahead to Chipper Jones …

The Jon knows these things to be true: Week 3




Another week, another win. The Jon is not used to this. The first couple of weeks of any fantasy baseball season has always been mired by frustration, bad pitching, lack of power and draft picks gone bad. Not the case this year. Three first round picks in the first round have a way turning history around. Not to sound all Newspapermanish, but things look good so far.

But it is only three weeks into a fantasy season, you can always plan and should to improve your team. Are you in the middle of the pack or at the bottom? You should know what your needs are.

If you are at the top, now is the time to play in into the other manager’s fears and take ’em for all they are worth. With that being said, let’s look at the week it was.

The Jon knows these things to be true: Week 1

Don’t worry, we’ll get into Stephen A. Smith, but first … after months and months the waiting has finally paid off. The first week of baseball has ended and along with it has brought many revelations. Still recovering from a Monday that saw The Jon exert zero movement except for The Jon’s patented beer elbow, here are some of the observations from the first week that has garnered a mention on these hallowed pages, ie. there is no real topic that The Jon has to write about, so subjects will be divided up for easy perusal.

Offense sucks during opening week
It’s true. Out of the top 10 players selected in most fantasy drafts, only Chase Utley and Hanley Ramirez have had strong weeks.