Dear TBS, Part One Million

Where the hell is my baseball!?!?!?!?!?!?! I’ve been watching this godforsaken channel for an hour now waiting for the pre-game show and the start of Game Six of the ALCS, and right now I’m stuck watching some stupid-ass sitcom. I’ve tried to call your customer service number, and it is busy. The game has started and I’m watching crap from the 1990s. Thanks for the nothing, idiots. Very Unfunny.

Open Letter to Terry Francona, baseball minds alike

I can’t help it. Every time I see Tim Wakefield, I think of 2003. I think of Aaron Boone. I think of a floating knuckle ball that never hits the catcher’s mitt. I think of lost dreams and heartbreak. And I know I can’t be the only one. Boston fans have had much to cheer about since 2004, but you can’t tell me that all is well in your in mind when you see Terry Francona send Wakefield to the hill every fifth day. You can’t tell me that disaster is not the first thing on your mind.

Dear TBS, Part 3

Dear TBS,

Thank you for showing us less Craig Sager during Game Three of the Red Sox-Angels series. Not sure if it was by design, but the lack of his presence actually made the telecast better. Sager really has no clue what he is talking about — he always seems to cite one of the broadcasters when asking questions — and his suits are hideous.

Poor Cubs

I don’t have much to say tonight except it must be tough being a Cubs fan. Oh well, there’s always next year … or next century.

Dear TBS, Part 2

Dear TBS,

I know you guys are new to covering baseball in the playoffs, but would someone please tell Craig Sager to mix in a neutral color suit every now and then, especially when covering baseball. Maybe he needs to have a little conversation with Fernando Vina of ESPN about fashion. They are polar opposites. It seems like Sager purposely wears gaudy outfits so that people like me will mention his name in a blog. Seriously, who the hell wears suits in those colors? Not even Liberace would walk out of his house like this. OK, maybe he would.

Dear TBS …

Dear TBS, before you flip the switch on Friday to broadcast Game Two of the American League Division Series between the Boston Red Sox and Anaheim Angels, please have a production meeting to cease and desist all this nonsense of trying to see Jonathan Papelbon’s eyes. It’s cliche and old. Yes, he gets that contrived look of intensity on his face and his eyes are locked on his target, but we do not need to get a close up every time. ESPN and Fox Sports do this same garbage whenever he closes a game they televise, and it’s annoying as hell. At the start of the bottom of the ninth of Wednesday, it was not as apparent. But it became pretty obvious that your cameramen were moving their positions just so we could see Papelbon’s eyes. Just stop.

Championship: Conceding Defeat

There comes a time and point during every championship, or even presidential election, where the losing team, or person, knows all hope is lost. It’s 1:45 p.m. Pacific, and that time is now for No Gimmicks Needed. It’s time to conceded defeat, and admit that I have lost TheBaseballStars World Series by a score of 8-6.

Now I could sit here and talk about how I lost the title, but fact of the matter is The Terror Returns won. Solid hitting and clutch pitching (Damn you, CC Sabathia) put No Gimmicks in its place. Later today, when the score is official and the tears dry up on my cheeks, I’ll look further into perhaps the greatest finals in the history of our league.

Congrats, FreeSanJose.

Championship: The Final Countdown

This is it. The final weekend of the fantasy baseball season, and No Gimmicks Needed and The Terror Returns are neck and neck for the championship in TheBaseballStars League. Who will win it? Not even the owners of the two teams are sure.

Four Bagger: The Stretch Run

There’s nothing like a good ol’ ass-kicking to rekindle one’s passion for fantasy baseball. Fortunately I was on the giving end of this badboy.

Thanks to the efforts of Grady Sizemore and Vernon Wells, I was able to annihilate our very own ‘Oz this week 13-0-1 guaranteeing my spot in the playoffs, and almost solidifying my rank as the No. 2 seed in the TBS league playoffs. We’re still a week away from the post season, but things are looking good, and that first-round bye is looking better than ever.